A Golden Retriever Explains the Basics of Cybersecurity

Do you ever wonder what your dog would say about your online habits? Probably not, but maybe you should. We canines get cybersecurity. Trust me, I know a thing or two about defending the pack. You might think I just sniff trees and chase squirrels, but I’m also your first line of defense at home. And let me tell you: if I see a squirrel or a stranger in the yard, I bark. Loudly.

Your golden retriever shares the basics of cybersecurity.

Wait, hold on a second… [aggressive growling and barking ensues, a guy yells in the distance].

Sorry, I’m back. I just saw the mailman. You can’t trust anyone these days.

Cyberattacks are like squirrels. They’re everywhere. They trapeze along your fence, subtle like many other threats, and then suddenly, they’re all up in your space, taking over your garden, your birdseed, and your security. Say goodbye to your prized tomatoes and strawberries. There’s no sense of safety when squirrels are involved. Underestimating the squirrel is how you lose your entire backyard.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Squirrels are harmless, docile creatures. Pests at their worst. Wrong. Danger, my friend, does not always seem dangerous. Not until you’re on the other side of it.

Not all villains sneak in. Some walk up the driveway.

Like that innocent-seeming squirrel raiding the bird feeder, cyber threats often come dressed in everyday disguises: a familiar-looking email, a fake login page, a “harmless” file attachment. Attackers are relentless, persistent, and don’t give up after one failed attempt. You need to be prepared. Ready to defend your territory. You need to know the basics of cybersecurity.

George, the cat in the window over there? Don’t be like him. He won’t even lift a paw; he’ll just casually nap through the entirety of it.

The Basics of Cybersecurity Threats

Cybersecurity is not something you ignore. Just like squirrels, it’s critical to know what you’re up against. But don’t worry, I’ve sniffed them out and studied their methods and games, and they’re all after the same thing—in your case, your passwords, your data, and your privacy.

Let me introduce you to the backyard’s most wanted.

Malware

The malware squirrel is one of the most common. He moves in like a bad roommate. Once inside, he builds all sorts of nests in your router and chews on your files. Your computer won’t load, and your browser will constantly redirect, all leading to the loss of sensitive data and devastating financial harm.

Ransomware

Even worse, malware squirrels can become ransomware squirrels and hold you hostage. Perched on the feeder, they’ll wave a little red flag that reads, “Pay or starve.” The ransomware squirrel wants a payoff. Without a backup, it’s almost impossible to do anything about it.

Phishing

Then there’s the phishing squirrel. He’s not strong or fast, but he makes up for what he lacks in brains with trickery and social engineering. His whole game is deception. He’s a smooth-talking, bushy-tail-waving attacker. He’s constantly flashing shiny things to catch your eye, leaving behind fake treats—emails that say “Urgent! Update your account!” or “You’ve won!”

He wants to pressure you into his plan; he doesn’t want you to think. He wants you to open the gate yourself. Then, with just one click, he’s raiding your bird feeder, taking everything. Please don’t fall for it. If it looks too good to be true, it probably is.

Man-in-the-Middle (MITM)

Speaking of birdseed, you know when you throw some on the ground, and you turn away for a moment, and suddenly it’s gone? You assume the bird got it. The bird is confused and thinks you didn’t throw anything. In the middle of all of this is the man-in-the-middle (MITM) squirrel. He’s subtle, slick. He sets up shop between two trusted friends—like you and the bird—and the moment you send something sensitive, he stuffs it in his cheeks and runs off like nothing happened. Public Wi-Fi? Unsecured network? That’s his playground. The MITM squirrel can sit there all day, quietly collecting every acorn of information you think you’re sending to a trusted recipient.

Denial-of-Service (DoS)

Now, the Denial-of-Service (DoS) squirrel is a member of a team. They don’t want your data; they want to shut down your yard entirely. Too many squirrels. Too many fake requests. Everything is now grinding to a halt. The feeder is blocked, and the network slows. You try checking your email, you try playing music, you try asking your smart speaker to turn off all the chaos. But the DoS squirrel cut off access to all of it from the very beginning. He’s not here to look cute; he’s here to crash the whole party.

SQL Injection 

The SQL injection squirrel is also bold. Most squirrels try to sneak in. They test the fence and look for areas where we dogs don’t go (it’s no fun trying to dig holes in the rocks). But not him—he talks to the fence and enters through the front gate. Why? Because he knows the magic words. He didn’t break in; he convinced the gate to let him in. That’s an SQL injection. He wasn’t on the list. He didn’t have clearance. But he slipped a little extra code into the name field or something equally nutty, and the system practically said, “Come on in! You’re welcome here!”

Zero-Day Exploit 

However, there’s one squirrel that I never see, but I can always smell. He doesn’t chitter or sprint across telephone wires. He lurks, watches. And then, when the fence has a crack—one so new even you didn’t know it was there—he slips through. That’s a zero-day exploit squirrel. A hole in your fence is revealed to the squirrel before you’ve had time to fix it. And by the time you figure it out, he’s gone.

DNS Tunneling 

Remember how I mentioned I like to dig holes? It’s not boredom. I’m not hiding anything. It’s because of the DNS tunneling squirrel. He’s a real problem. He doesn’t leap fences or talk straight to a gate; he uses an allowed system. Something expected, like the Domain Name System. It’s how the internet finds stuff. But this squirrel? He found a way to hide other things in those questions. You think your computer is asking, “What’s the address for fetchtheball.com?” In reality, it says, “I’ve got the nuts. Uploading now.” The system sends it, and DNS says it’s fine. Just like that, your data is on its way to a squirrel-controlled base in the trees. What’s worse? He can send a message back the same way. Commands, instructions, more nuts. Whatever he wants.

I could go on, but I hear my food bowl calling me, and I need another nap.

Final Thoughts on the Basics of Cybersecurity

If I were you, I’d set up defenses like my yard depends on it. Because when squirrels sneak along the side of your fence, pretending to be friendly, it’s never just innocent fun. No matter what, they’re after something.

So, next time you’re tempted to click without thinking, ask yourself a very logical question: What would my dog do?

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Danielle Black is the Content Marketing Specialist for Tier 3 Technology. She double-checked with her dog before writing this article, and he confirmed that he does, in fact, care quite a bit about cybersecurity.